currently: @926 (1:14pm) on thursday 1.8.09 | 138 hours since last post
Anar kaluva tielyanna!
His Holiness the Dalai Lama is an amazing man. I feel so good having seen him in person. There was a point during his talk where I felt he was looking right at me, talking right to me. I don't know what he said, but the man's presence is breathtaking. If I were to define myself by a religion it would be Buddhism; it's most like what I already believe. The reincarnation thing, not so much, but it's sure a nice thing to dream about. I'll take it if that's what it is.
David J. and Tim - what can one say that hasn't been said? Cry Freedom and Lie in our Graves were inspired choices, and they brought new fire to Eh Hee and others. He plays what's in all of our hearts, you know he does. I love the man so much.
Both the audience with His Holiness and the show could go hang as far as I was concerned, however, as I had something much better - I had time to sit and talk with Steph and Juliet and Steven, time to hug them and remember why I love them so so much. I'm so sorry we couldn't spend more time together; we MUST do that. There are RULES about this stuff and this is a time when the rule must not be broken. I love you guys, know it and never never forget it.
Here I am in tears again, looking like a lunkhead sitting in my living room bawling. It's just the fucking cancer, nothing to worry about. I just don't want any more time to pass without telling you people, all of you, how much you mean to me.
Anyway. Sorry. Little pansy interlude there for our psychiatrist friends. It happens. It's like getting hit by a truck - nothing I can do about it until it stops.
After the show we headed outside the Arena to try to get a taxi. It was difficult for some reason, it's like there were 15,000 others all trying to get one too. I ended up walking way too far, almost all the way back to the hotel, and when we got there I was only good for medicine and bed. We slept in til 11am and headed home and then it was time for more bed. I wore myself out bigtime, lost 5 pounds if you can believe it. It sucks that I have to keep track of my weight now. I've gained 2 or 3 back already, so that's good. I'm trying to get back to normal (around 190 for you nosey bastards) before chemo tomorrow. Do you know what normal was before Mr. Cancer came along? More like 220. 30 pounds I lost in a little over a month. I don't recommend the diet, though.
Calm in my heart.
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