massive braincase

It's all true

We had another doctor visit today, and got some things clarified - I know Debbie called a bunch of people two weeks ago and said I was in remission, and then called some people back a couple days later to say it was only partial remission, or that she was mistaken. I posted here what the doctor told me about "partial remission". Obviously neither of us were exactly sure what was going on. So, we got some specifics today - the doc was definitive on certain points. The most important thing was, yes, I'm in remission. No "partial", no equivocation. I'll just stand back here for a moment and let you celebrate in your own way with me. Done? OK, I'll continue: Dr. Winter used the term "remission" several times without prompting, and described exactly what that means to me. There's a 1.9cm mass in my left lung, in the same place that the original tumor was located, along with lots of scar tissue and a small amount of fluid. This is the remains of the original tumor. If biopsied, this mass would likely have some cancerous cells in it, but overall it's contained and still being actively killed by the chemotherapy. The additional masses they located in my lower left lung are entirely gone as if they'd never been there. He said it was "surprising" how well I've responded to this treatment. Because there's still some advantage to be gained by it, I'll continue the current chemo for at least one more cycle. I've had three cycles of this particular treatment, and he says we may have as many as six total, and definitely at least one more. So, we have the next one scheduled for two weeks from now, and then a few weeks after that we'll determine whether to have any more, or to take an extended break from treatment. I'm guessing we'll end up doing the latter, and treating this like our original idea of what remission means; regular testing every few months or whatever, just to verify that there's nothing untoward going on in there, but otherwise assuming the best. I've always assumed the best. I never once believed that I wouldn't be here as long as anyone else. I still don't. This is still such good news. It's indescribable. I don't want to get too high about it, of course, but jeez... how do I not. Love. Love love love. As an aside: if you look over to the right, there, under the calendar, you'll see a new section called "What I'm Doing (via Twitter)". If you're not aware of Twitter, it's an online tool for small, frequent updates about what one is doing at the moment. Either through this "five most recent updates" I've implemented here, or direct checking of my Twitter account at http://twitter.com/PashaPhares, you can see on a much more granular basis what's going on with me/us on a daily basis. If you're interested... I periodically post interesting links and stuff there as well. Just little updates. Hey, I'll be gone today but I'll be back again around the way It seems like everywhere I go the more I see the less I know But I know one thing that I love you I love you I love you I love you

How is it possible that I've never read this?

Heinlein's —And He Built A Crooked House - I've read everything the man's ever written, hunted through used bookstores (online and RL), gone to great lengths to find older stories and such... But here I find the complete text of a Heinlein story on Scifi.com of all places. This story is so worth the 10 minutes it'll take you to read it.

How depressing is this?

Mars project may never get off ground - the latest rover and scientific package has been managed so badly that they're probably going to get canceled. Suck. However, I read last night that AMC is producing a series based on KSR's Red Mars. Most definitely not suck.

Remission?

I had a chest CT and a brain MRI scan yesterday, and the doc called this morning with the results. Good results! It's not full remission, as in, go home and don't come back unless you get cancer again, but it does appear that there's no active cancer cells in my body right now. There's lots of scar tissue in my lung, but he specifically said that any cancer remaining in there is "doing what it's supposed to do" which I take to mean that it's not growing or changing. We'll see him again on Thursday to determine what the next step should be. So... partial remission. Sounds pretty damn good to me. I'm so excited to watch The Clone Wars tonight or tomorrow. Can't wait. How 'bout that debate, ladies and gents? My favorite part was when Palin said, "I'm so glad we both love Israel." She's managed to stay abreast of the "not competent" wave, but she's going to have to continue to improve if she wants to keep her spot on the ticket. We're hosting poker tonight, so I should get upstairs and be social.

Thanks so much

I say that a lot, but I need to. The benefit and auction last night apparently went very well, raising upwards of $2000 and bringing together lots of our friends, old and new. I wasn't present for a variety of reasons (one of them being embarrassment... sorry, I'm a big baby sometimes) but the girls were, and Debbie made a nice little speech when given the opportunity. Someone brought a giant mushroom for the auction. Weird. I read the program last night after the girls got home, all those names and all those comments about past shows, stuff I haven't thought about in years. What does one say? Thanks again, for your friendships and your talents on stage and off and your willingness to step up and help a friend in need. Ditto what Debbie said about community, the real value of local theater. It's the community that makes it work, the disparate people who take that step to get involved in the first place, joining a group of people they probably don't know at all, maybe one or two friends, and building and becoming a community of absolutely inseparable friends. They say your friends are the family you choose; that's so true. I can't begin to tell you how lucky and smart I am to have chosen you. I'm so good. Linda, thank you especially for directing and putting this all together. Who'd have dreamed when we met in 1986, during a meltdown on my part after a performance of Hot L Baltimore, that 22 years later we'd still be here and circumstances would dictate this sort of response on your part. God, I'm glad. Thanks so much, to everyone involved in the production and the benefit. You people are the true salt.

Who knew?

Who knew that Clancy Brown, the Kurgan, Sgt. Zim from Starship Troopers, et al, is also the voice of Mr. Krabs on Spongebob? Wonders never cease.

Sniffle

Fundraiser for Ailing Actor - ahh jeez. What am I supposed to do with this? I love you guys. I love the whole world.

Officially unwired

Well, we did it. Since we all have mobile phones now, we disconnected our home phone. It feels good. It's like we've finally left the nest, moved out on our own. We're like free-spirited freshmen in college now, footloose & fancy free. I've had like 3 weeks of relatively good days. That's been really nice, though chemotherapy next week will likely interrupt that streak for a bit. We'll see. I wonder if I could just wish it away. Again, we'll see. I'll try that and see how it goes. Raining today. What's up with that? Damn.

Yay for geeky new phones

I got a new phone last night, a Samsung Glyde with the bitchin' touch screen and slide out keyboard and blah blah blah. The number is 360.801.1727; please make a note of it... because we're also disconnecting our home phone entirely, so that's the only way to reach me voice from now on. Text me or something! Keep me busy! Love you.

Still jiggety-jogging

Just a short note as it's after my beddy-bye time. I've set a new world and Olympic record, being home from the hospital as long as I have without a return visit, which obviously means I'm feeling better. Much better in fact, the last several days. I'm still getting chemo but it's every three or four or even five weeks, and its side effects are quite a bit less onerous. I've gained about 10 pounds in the last couple weeks. So yay! We went to see Michael Franti and Spearhead the other night and it was a religious experience. We got backstage, met the band, got some pics, and my friend Brandon got them to play my favorite Spearhead tune (Never Too Late) which wasn't on their setlist. And then, get this: They started it by dedicating it to me, saying something along the lines of "There's a guy in the audience tonight named Pasha, who's seen some rough patches lately but is still fighting hard. This is his favorite song. So Pash, this one's for you." I can't remember the exact quote but that's pretty close. After the show when we met him, I gave him a hug and said "Thanks so much for playing Never Too Late, I can't begin to tell you how much that meant to me" and he hugged me tighter and said "Oh, bro, the pleasure was all mine, now you keep hangin' in there" and I said "I'll never stop. Now you keep rockin'." It was so awesome, I'm still completely jazzed about the whole thing. Spearhead may have passed DMB as my favorite band to see live. Just... wow.